A Review of Deep Listening, a book by Emily Kasriel

Public speaking is a frequent yet challenging task for most. A 2023 poll found that nearly half of the British public (49%) fear speaking in front of people, and the public speaking training industry is booming in response. Yet, in today’s era of uncertainty and change, perhaps we should shift our focus away from speaking and more towards listening. This is the case put forward by Emily Kasriel in her new book, Deep Listening, along with practical guidance on how to listen better. 

As a Visiting Senior Research Fellow at King’s College London Policy Institute and executive coach, Kasriel’s writing is rooted in scientific evidence and lived experience. Grounded in academic research and with insights from eminent political figures, psychotherapists, spiritual leaders, artists, writers, choreographers and mixed with Kasriel’s own personal reflections, Deep Listening takes the reader on a cultural expedition, via Japan, South Africa, Canada and many more places, to learn about the deceptively profound topic of listening. 

In contrast to the routine listening typical of many conversations, Deep Listening is described as a ‘rich and multilayered process’, with eight essential ingredients – space, self-awareness, presence, curiosity, a warm gaze, silence, reflection, and depth. Moving beyond the pretence of listening, past the performance rituals of pretending to listen, the reader is guided towards a deeper, transformational approach. 

Deep Listening does not indicate surrender, or capitulation to a power imbalance. Nor does it signal endorsement, obedience, or agreement. Rather it demonstrates listener autonomy, self-awareness, and empowerment. 

The power of listening is also explored from the perspective of the speaker. Research and personal stories highlight how listening well impacts the speaker’s wellbeing. It shows how the quality of listening influences what a speaker chooses to share, how they share it, and how they then make sense of their emotions. In this way, the listener is not a passive bystander but an active agent. A tale on the impact of listening on stammering concludes, ‘it takes two to stammer’. 

Deep Listening is not for every scenario, it is explained, but it is for everyone, regardless of cultural, neurological, or other individual difference. Different people can listen well while honouring their identity, it is emphasised. Yet perhaps a little more space might be dedicated to how we recognise different ways of listening among the pages. For example, as the book suggests, individuals with ADHD might find practice, keeping interruptions short, and asking for understanding help foster an environment in which speakers feel listened to. However, a willingness on the speaker’s part to educate themselves and recognise different, but just as powerful, listening may hold equal value.

While cookie cutter models are explicitly cautioned against, it is also worth wondering if some readers may interpret the eight ‘steps’ as a procedural means to an end, or even if the quality of their listening might be diminished by simply trying too hard. Nevertheless, as research cited in the book demonstrates, most people are not as good at listening as they think, and listening is oftentimes taken for granted. In response, Deep Listening offers a helpful, practical guide so we can learn to listen better.

Deep Listening is both practical and inspirational. Coaches will undoubtedly enjoy its heartfelt exploration of the multifaceted benefits of listening, as well as its practical tools, reflective questions, handy chapter takeaways, and charming illustrations on how to listen better. We hope you enjoy this book as much as us.

Visit emilykasriel.com for more details. 

Review written by Nina Hobson, Barefoot in-house coach and tutor.