Bearing the Unbearable or Baring the Unbare-able – Kim Morgan

Last week, my therapist was talking to me about an academic paper entitled ‘Bearing the Unbearable’.

I heard ‘Baring the Unbare-able’

It made me think about how “baring” our souls – sharing our fears, our anxieties with another – can lighten the burdens we are bearing.

Sometimes, what we have considered to be unbare-able to another living soul may turn out not to be.  We won’t know that until we find the courage to bare it.

I worked with one client for many months who told me there was something which they had never felt able to tell anybody, and this ‘big thing’ affected every aspect of their life.  One day the client decided to tell me. With much anxiety (from the client and from me!) they started speaking.  I listened, waiting for the revelation.  When they had finished speaking, I thanked them as usual.  I said I assumed they had decided not to tell me the ‘big thing’ after all.

The client burst out laughing.  “I just did! I told you!  I said it… but even as I was saying it out loud, it seemed trivial.  The fact that you didn’t even notice shows me I have built this out of all proportion!”

If you are bearing something alone, consider getting professional support. A qualified therapist or coach will listen to and work with you in a safe, boundaried, and confidential relationship. A good coach or therapist will work with ease, not urgency, to support you to find more freedom, more choices and make new meanings.

In the wise words of quite another kind of bear:

“You can’t stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.”