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Coaching for Loss, Change Uncertainty & Grief

Coaching Tool: Letting Go to Flourish

By Kim Morgan 

“Be like a tree and let the dead leaves drop” Rumi 

Are you someone who will always give people or situations ‘just one more chance’?  Do you tell yourself, “I agreed to do this, so I will keep going”? Do you find yourself giving more than you receive in relationships?  Do you hope that others will take responsibility for endings, so you don’t have to?  

If you recognise any of these scenarios, it could be time for you to let go of relationships or situations which are holding you back and take responsibility for some endings yourself.  Some endings are not only necessary, but liberating, and can make way for new opportunities and growth.   

 

Letting go to Flourish 

Coaching Questions 

Thinking about your current circumstances: 

  • What/who gives you strength, pleasure and nourishes you?   
  • Where/with whom do you feel safe to learn, grow and change? 
  • What/who doesn’t give you enough of the above? 

 

Considering the unfulfilling circumstances: 

  • What is keeping you here?  What is the payoff to you staying? 
  • What are the beliefs which keep you in this situation? What beliefs do you have about endings?  Where/when did you learn these beliefs? 
  • What changes or adjustments could YOU make to improve the situation? 
  • What would someone else see, think or feel if they were observing you in this situation? 

 

Imagining you have let go of these circumstances: 

  • How do you feel? (Heart and gut responses) 
  • What have you gained?  
  • What have you lost?  
  • What are you doing, that you didn’t do before? 
  • How have you changed and grown? 
  • What words of thanks can you find whilst respectfully letting go of these circumstances? 

What was the tipping point for you to make this change? 

 

“Pruning is strategic. It is directional and forward-looking. It is intentional toward a vision, desires, and objectives that have been clearly defined and are measurable. If you have that, you know what a rose is, and pruning will help you get one of true beauty.”  

Dr Henry Cloud, Necessary Endings 

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